Families and home care: who talks to whom
When home care comes into the picture, so does a stream of phone calls, messages and names nobody remembers. What makes it manageable is agreeing on one contact person among you, and having the numbers and appointments written down in one place.
Choose one contact person, and tell the service who it is
Home care finds it easier to deal with one relative than with four. Agree on who the contact person is, and give the service their name and phone number. The contact person gathers the messages and adds them to the family's shared overview. The role can follow the duty week, as long as the service knows when it changes.
Ask for the decision, and read what it actually says
In Norway, the services your parent receives are set out in a formal decision from the municipality (a vedtak): what is to be done, how often and in what form. Ask for a copy, with your parent's consent or power of attorney. Many families only discover then that what they thought had been promised isn't there — or that help has been granted that they haven't used. The decision is also what you appeal against if the help isn't enough. In other countries the document goes by other names, such as a care plan, but it's just as worth reading.
Consent and confidentiality
Health professionals have a duty of confidentiality and can't simply tell relatives how things are going. As long as your parent is able to consent, they can tell the service who should be kept informed, ideally in writing. It's a five-minute job that saves many rounds of nobody getting an answer.
Write down what was said, the same day
Messages from home care come at awkward moments — in the middle of a meeting, or in the car. Note briefly what was said, who said it and the date, and add it to the shared overview the same day. Then your siblings don't have to reconstruct it from memory, and you have it to hand if something needs raising later.
Keep the contact card within reach
One place with the numbers for home care's duty line, the GP, the pharmacy and the out-of-hours doctor means more people than whoever lives closest can make a call. Put the card in the shared overview, and hang a printout on your parent's fridge too. Numbers that only exist in one person's phone aren't available to the family.
When the help isn't enough
If things get harder, you can apply for more: more visits, a personal alarm, a day centre, meals delivered or a short-term stay. In Norway the application goes to the municipality's service office, and it should describe specific incidents and dates, not just that things have become difficult. If you're turned down, the appeal deadline is in the decision, and the county's patient and user ombudsman can help you further free of charge. Elsewhere, ask the local council or care provider how to request a new assessment — the advice about specific incidents and dates holds everywhere.
Questions and answers
Can home care tell me how Mum is doing?
Only if she has agreed that you may be informed — or, in Norway, if she can't consent herself and you are her closest relative. The simplest way is for her to tell them in writing who should be kept informed.
Who should be the contact person for home care?
Whoever can most easily take a call during working hours. It doesn't have to be the one who lives closest, but the service should know who it is, and be told when the role changes.
How do we apply for more help?
In Norway, contact the service office in the municipality where your parent lives; elsewhere, the local council or care provider. Describe specific incidents with dates, what has changed and what you need. You can apply on your parent's behalf with power of attorney.
What do we do if we're turned down?
Appeal within the deadline given in the decision. In Norway, the county's patient and user ombudsman gives free help with writing the appeal and understanding what the decision actually means. In other countries, ask the council or provider how their complaints or review process works.
How do we stop messages getting lost between siblings?
Write them into a shared overview the same day, with the date and who said it. Chat is fine for talking, but poor for finding a message again three weeks later.
Make your contact card
Appointments, regular tasks, the duty week and the phone numbers in one text you can paste into the family chat. Free, no account.
Make your overviewOther things we've made
Also for families keeping the everyday coordinated between them.
Also for families keeping the everyday coordinated between them.
Also for families keeping the everyday coordinated between them.
Also in Norwegian, made by the same people.